The King In Our Castle

Written By: LJ


Rowan was concerned. He knew something was bothering his partner but, as usual, Darby was having trouble expressing his inner most thoughts. Rowan pushed himself away from the computer when he realized he was no longer able to concentrate on the project he had been working on. ‘Just when did the problem begin,’ he wondered. ‘And why didn’t I see it coming?’

They had returned from their lover’s weekend at the cabin in high spirits. Darby had been excited to show his ring to his friends and tell them about the plans for the up-coming wedding. Rowan and Darby had spent many evenings over the last two months discussing options for their reception and honeymoon. They had written up the guest list and mailed out the invitations. Rowan smiled to himself, remembering the conversation about their choices for Best Man or in their case, Best Men.

“Darby, you need to choose someone,” Rowan had told his lover during the drive home from the cabin on Valentine’s Day.

“What does the Best Man do, anyway?”

“He’s your witness and plays a key role in the wedding ceremony. You really should have one, Sweets.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Riley had his brother, Corby, and you were Jayson’s because he didn’t want to ask his brother. Who have you asked?”

“Jayson!”

“How come you didn’t ask one of your brothers?”

“Because Jayson and I have been best friends since university and we always said we’d be each other’s Best Man if same-sex marriages were ever legalized. Of course, we were kind of joking as we didn’t really hold out too much hope of it ever happening. Fortunately we were wrong. I thought we could ask Trevor to be Master of Ceremonies.”

“Good idea! He’ll do a great job,” Darby laughed. He liked Rowan’s older brother and had discovered Trevor had the same dry sense of humour Rowan did.

“So, Darby, can you think of someone you’d like to ask?” Rowan asked patiently.

“Yep; I’m going to ask Shelley!” Darby sounded quite certain about his decision. “Shelley has been my best friend since junior high and I don’t have any family members around.”

“Darby, love, do you really think you should have a girl for your Best Man?” Rowan chuckled as he questioned the wisdom behind the young man’s choice.

“Why not; we can consider her my Best Person.” Darby’s eyes were sparkling with delight.

So it was decided that Rowan would have a Best Man and Darby would have a Best Person.

************

Over the following several weeks, plans slowly but steadily fell into place. They had decided to hold the reception in their own backyard. Rowan’s sisters, Kayla and Erin, wanted to do the decorating and his younger brother, Logan, wanted to greet and seat the guests. His cousin, Dean, a recent graduate from the Culinary Institute, offered to prepare and serve a hip of beef; another cousin, Carl, volunteered to be the bartender; his uncle, Mike, a professional photographer, was going to tape the entire proceedings; and Mike’s wife, Phoebe, wanted to be the organist.

“Our timing is just right, Sweets,” Rowan had said to Darby a couple of weeks ago. “Back home, the lobster season opens the first of May and my parents are going to ship out a hundred pounds of lobster for the reception. What do you think about that?”

Darby’s response had been less enthusiastic than Rowan had hoped for.

“What’s wrong, love?” Rowan gently inquired.

“Nothing….ah, I mean everything’s fine. It’s all falling into place just like we want, I guess,” Darby quietly answered with a slight shrug of his shoulders.

Rowan had asked Darby if he had anything he wanted to discuss but had been told things were okay. Now Rowan was questioning his own lack of response. ‘Exactly when did Darby’s interest start to wane?’ he wondered, then admonished himself, ‘Maybe I should have persisted until I found out what was bothering him.’

Getting up from his desk, Rowan went to the kitchen and plugged in the kettle. It was after eleven o’clock; an hour past the time Darby had said he would be home and the young man still hadn’t call to let his partner know there had been a change in plans.

Darby had been subtly pushing the boundaries for several days now. He had spent corner-time thinking of how to communicate in a more courteous manner and then written lines after he had come up with an acceptable solution. He had narrowly escaped going to bed with a sore backside by preventing himself, just in time, from throwing a major temper tantrum. He had ‘forgotten’ to do his share of the chores on more than one occasion and earlier this week had ‘accidentally’ miscalculated the due-date of a school assignment.

Now he was late and hadn’t called. Not being unable to reach Darby on his cell phone left Rowan frustrated as well as worried. Picking up the phone, he placed a call to see if he could locate his delinquent Brat.

“Hello, Shelley. It’s Rowan here. Is Darby still with you and Toby?”

“No, he left over an hour ago. He called a taxi so that Toby and I wouldn’t have to leave early. I thought he was heading straight home.”

“Did he seem all right when he left?” Rowan inquired.

“He didn’t say much. I thought he might be tired. Actually he’s been kind of quiet for a little while now and hasn’t even been talking about the wedding,” Shelley informed Rowan, concern creeping into her voice.

“Thanks, Shelley. I’m sure he’ll be home momentarily,” Rowan assured her. “Good night.”

“Ah, Rowan, would you have him call me tomorrow, please? Thanks! Good night.”

Rowan sat at the kitchen table staring into space as his coffee got cold. He wondered if Darby had changed his mind. Maybe he didn’t want to get married after all. No! Rowan was pretty sure that wasn’t the case, but could the young man be getting overwhelmed by the thoughts of so many people planning to attend and all the work still left to be done. This wasn’t only Rowan’s big day; it was also Darby’s. It was important to Rowan that the love of his life was left with the best of all possible memories of their special day and if that meant cancelling the big event and having a small private ceremony, then so be it.

Rowan knew he had to get Darby to speak up, to talk about how he was feeling and what he’d like to have happen. But first, they were going to have to deal with this latest situation involving the breaking of rules.

Calls around to the taxi companies in town led to Rowan’s discovery of his partner’s whereabouts and caused the older man to become very alarmed about his Brat’s safety.

“Jayson, sorry for calling so late but I could use some help. This evening Darby went to a party with several of his University friends and has been due home for sometime. I’ve just now been able to track him down. He was dropped off at the park almost an hour and ten minutes ago. With all the incidents we’ve been reading about lately, I was wondering if you would be able to accompany me when I go to pick him up.”

“I’ll be ready when you get here, Rowan.” Jayson assured his friend and hung up the phone.

“What did Rowan want?” Riley’s sleepy voice could barely be heard from the middle of their bed.

“I thought you were asleep, babe,” Jayson said, reaching over to kiss the young man’s bare shoulder before tucking the blanket more securely over it. “Rowan’s been looking for Darby and just learned he is in the park by himself. I’m going with him in case a problem arises.”

“I want to come, too,” Riley insisted, throwing off the covers and starting to scramble out of bed.

“No, I want you to stay right where you are, Riley!” Jayson was adamant as he pulled his partner back down and once more tucked the blankets around him. “I don’t want to have to be worrying about you if we run into trouble.”

“But I want to go! Darby is my best friend. He might need me,” Riley whined, trying to push away from the bigger man.

“And I said no, didn’t I! What does that mean, young man?” Jayson glared down at the handsome face in front of him.

“It means I can’t go,” Riley sulked.

“That’s an award-winning pout you’ve got there, sweetheart, but it’s not going to do you any good.” With a final kiss on the pouting lips of his lover, Jayson pushed himself off the bed and quickly dressed. He stepped out the front door just as Rowan was driving up to the house.

“What the hell is your Brat doing in the park by himself this late at night? I would have given him more sense than that, not to mention self-preservation,” Jayson grumbled as they sped along to their destination.

“I have no idea what’s going through his head. He’s been quietly pushing off and on over the past week or more, but refuses to say what’s troubling him.” Rowan worriedly shook his head and murmured, “I hope he’s all right.”

************

Darby sat gazing out at the water fountain in the middle of the small man-made lake. So mesmerized by the repetitive rise and fall of the water, Darby was unaware of anything going on around him and completely lost in his own thoughts. He no longer felt the chill of the night air or the discomfort of the hard, wooden seat he was sitting on. He finally had things straight in his mind but was trying to figure out a way to explain them to Rowan.

Suddenly, his view was block by a belt buckle that appeared vaguely familiar. Lifting his head up, he found himself staring right into the very unhappy face of his partner.

Rowan and Jayson had spent fifteen minutes anxiously traipsing through the park before spotting Darby curled up on the end of a bench. They had passed more than one loud, questionable group of young people hanging about, drinking, smoking up and making general nuisances of themselves. Once they realized Darby was safe, their relief quickly turned to anger.

Putting his hands under Darby’s arms, Rowan lifted the smaller man up and none too gently, set him on his feet. “Not a word!” Rowan demanded and held up his hand to indicate he wasn’t interested in listening to any explanations at the present time. Taking Darby’s arm, Rowan turned him slightly and, knowing no one was in the immediate vicinity except Jayson, landed two quick hard swats on the seat of Darby’s jean. Then he began quick-marching the young man towards the parking lot.

Darby had to practically run to keep up to his partner’s longer stride. Once they reached the car, he crawled into the back seat and remained silent throughout the drive to Jayson’s house. He heard their friend taking on his cell to his partner, letting Riley know that Darby had been found and was safe. Darby next heard Rowan thanking Jayson for his help, but wouldn’t lift his head to look at Jayson’s face when he mumbled his ‘Goodnight’ in response to Jayson’s. He was too embarrassed at having been tracked down and dragged home. He was almost surprised that Rowan hadn’t hauled him along by his ear. He sat looking out the window for the remainder of the trip home; fighting back tears of self-recrimination for having let things deteriorate so badly.

Arriving home, Rowan drove into the garage and turned off the motor. He waited a few moments to get his emotions under control before firmly issuing his orders. “Darby, I’m going to lock up for the night. While I am doing that I want you to go upstairs and get ready for bed. I expect to find you in your corner when I get up there.”

“Rowan, I-I’m…”

“Not yet, Darby; just do what you’ve been told, please.”

Darby climbed out of the back seat and ran into the house. Letting the back door shut noisily behind him, he toed off his shoes, hung up his jacket and dejectedly walked through the kitchen, along the hall, up the stairs and into the master bedroom.

Fifteen minutes later, Rowan quietly entered their bedroom. He was calmer and in control of himself. On his way across the room, he picked up the hairbrush from on top of his dresser. He sighed deeply as he took a seat on the side of their bed and with loving exasperation, watched his partner scrunch himself deeper into the corner.

“Come here, baby,” Rowan said softly so as not to startle the younger man. “Please.”

Darby slowly turned and keeping his headed down, walked over to stand beside the other man. He felt a gentle tug on his hand and immediately found himself on Rowan’s lap in a comforting embrace. Wrapping his arms around the bigger man’s neck and burying his face against Rowan’s shoulder, Darby finally released the tears he had been holding back for what seemed like an eternity. He sobbed; unable to speak for the several long minutes it took for him to settle down enough to allow the rhythmic movements of the hand on his back to sooth him. The crying slowed until only hitching breaths and short gasps for air lingered but Darby still couldn’t bring himself to look into his lover’s eyes.

“I think there are a number of things we have to talk about, Darby,” Rowan murmured into the auburn curls beneath his chin. “First thing on the agenda, is your impromptu visit to the park. Getting that out of the way will make the rest easier to deal with. What do you think?”

Darby sniffed and nodded his agreement.

“I want you to tell me why you were in the park by yourself. You have more sense than that, Darby. You know as well as I do there have been a number of gay-bashing incidents reported over the past several months. We’ve heard about them on the radio and read of them in the newspaper. Now, just what do you think you were doing?” Rowan inquired patiently.

“I wanted some space to myself,” Darby answered, shrugging his shoulders. “I didn’t think about those reports or that anyone would be hanging around the park at this time of year. It’s only April and still fairly cold at night.”

“First off, you have plenty of privacy available in your studio. Secondly, the time of year doesn’t seem to matter to the disreputable characters who seem to take pleasure in hurting those they deem as different. You put yourself in danger by being preoccupied with other thoughts. I can only imagine that your mind was going a mile a minute and making you oblivious to what could possibly happen to you. This carelessness and lack of attention on your part will not go unpunished, young man. I love you too much to ever take the chance of losing you because of reckless behaviour that could have so easily been avoided. When I found out where the taxi driver had dropped you off, I was almost sick with fear for you. One way or another, you are going to learn to think things out before acting upon them.”

Rowan waited for his declaration to be absorbed before asking, “Do you understand where I’m coming from, Darby?”

“Yes, and I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have gone there and I won’t go again,” Darby forced the words past the lump in his throat. “It was a really stupid thing to do,” he admitted with self-reproach. He hated upsetting his partner and putting the other man in this position.

At Rowan’s insistence, Darby slowly stood up and only then noticed the hairbrush. He had been punished with it once before and like this time it had been for endangering himself. Although he knew he deserved it, he couldn’t stop himself from pleading. “Rowan, I’m sorry…I won’t do it again…..don’t use that….” Darby knew from the look in his partner’s eyes Rowan was staying firm on his decision. He also knew it was hard on Rowan to administer spankings and that he only did so because of his love for his young partner. Darby needed the boundaries they had established together; he needed to be sure the older man was there for him…taking care of him, loving him, supporting him, no matter what.

With a soft, reluctant moan of acceptance and Rowan’s steady assistance, Darby lowered himself facedown across the bigger man’s thighs. He trusted Rowan to fix things and get them back on track.

“Why are we doing this, little boy?” Rowan asked; his loving voice completely devoid of anger or accusation.

“Because I put myself in danger by going to the park alone,” Darby whimpered as he felt his boxers being pulled down.

Rowan proceeded to spank fast and hard, methodically covering his partner’s backside with even smacks until the bare bottom in front of him was a hot crimson colour. He stopped and momentarily laid his hand on the heated flesh before picking up the hairbrush. He didn’t feel up to punishing his young lover any further, but then he thought about how he had felt earlier. He remember the sickening panic when learning of his Brat’s whereabouts and the agonizing seemingly-endless drive to the park while frantically praying he would get there in time. A mental picture of his beloved partner lying injured and bleeding strengthened his resolve and Rowan evenly distributed a dozen rapid-fired swats with the hairbrush before ending the spanking. After several long moments of gently rubbing Darby’s sweat-covered back, the howling slowly changed to deep gulping sobs and Rowan let his Brat slide to his knees on the floor.

Darby clung unto Rowan’s leg while he cried out his pain and sorrow. He felt the tension gradually drain away as Rowan gathered him onto his lap to begin the long process of calming him down.

“Sssh, sssh, baby. It’s over, you’re all right.” Rowan’s litany of soothing words softly flowed over his lover’s trembling form and the sobbing finally slowed to a deep shuddering breath. Rowan continued rocking for a few more minutes before quietly suggesting, “How about standing up for a sec, love, so I can turn down the blankets. As soon as I get you settled, I’ll get undress and join you.”

Darby stifled a yelp as he pulled his underwear up over his extremely sore bottom, then he lay on his side to watch Rowan strip out of his clothing. His eyes were red and swollen, with tear-tracks still visible on his cheeks as he wiped his face with the sleeve of his T-shirt.

“Come here, Sweets,” Rowan invited, lying next to his penitent Brat. They lay in each other arms; the only sound in the room was Darby’s occasional sniffle. “Here, baby, blow your nose,” Rowan said kindly as he passed Darby a handful of tissues.

When he felt his lover had calmed enough, Rowan reminded him, “We still have some remaining issues to discuss, little one.”

“Can’t it wait until morning? I promise I’ll talk to you and tell you everything then,” Darby whined around a big yawn as he rubbed his eyes and nestled against Rowan’s chest.

“Of course, sweetheart!” Rowan mentally went over the list of all they needed to talk about as he waited to hear Darby’s light snoring before falling asleep himself.

************

Mid-morning on Saturday found Darby leaning on his elbows and supporting himself against the kitchen counter. Rowan had made blueberry waffles for breakfast but because of the lingering tenderness of his backside, Darby was enjoying the treat standing up.

“We’re still going to talk this morning, aren’t we?” Darby asked the man standing on the other side of the counter.

“You better believe it, Sweets,” Rowan answered, finishing the last bite of his meal and washing it down with a mouthful of coffee. He was also having his breakfast standing up in order to keep Darby company. “Just as soon as we clean up in here.”

“Okay, ‘cause I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be,” Darby murmured as he handed his empty plate to his partner.

“Finish your coffee, love,” Rowan said while filling the sink with warm soapy water.

Fifteen minutes later, Darby followed Rowan into the living room and waited for the other man to lie down on the sofa before accepting the invitation to stretch out on top of him.

With his chin in his hands, Darby held up his head and looked into his lover’s deep blue eyes. “First, Row, I’m so sorry for the way I’ve been acting the last week or so; you know, the pushing and everything. I also want you to know that I am even more sorry for causing you to worry so much last night. I never meant for that to happen.”

“I understand, Sweets. We’ve taken care of it. It’s over and I feel confident it will not be repeated anytime soon,” Rowan replied, pulled his partner close enough to kiss his forehead and gently asked, “What other rules were broken last night, Darby?”

Darby had been expecting this and was prepared to answer. “I wasn’t home when I said I’d be and I turned my cell phone off. I’m really sorry about that too, Rowan. I’m ready to take whatever consequences you feel I deserve,” he muttered into Rowan’s shoulder.

“Thank you, sweetheart. For being so late and not calling, you’re grounded for the next two weeks. That will give you plenty of time to work on the extra chore you’ve earned for turning off your phone.”

Darby figured the grounding was a given, but wondered what else the big guy had in mind. Taking a deep breath, he asked, “What chore?”

“You’re going on Tom Sawyer duty!” Rowan chuckled at his Brat’s sudden reaction.

“What’s that?” Darby demanded, quickly raising his head to gaze at the other man.

“You will be painting the back of our privacy fence that runs along the alley, only you will be using a stain, not whitewash. We’ll be doing the rest of the fence together when you get that part finished.”

“But it’s sooo long,” Darby whined.

“Not as long as having to do the entire fence on your own.” Rowan smiled at his Brat’s long drawn-out groan of resignation.

Shifting position so he could look onto his partner’s beautiful green eyes, Rowan gently asked, “Do you want to share with me what was upsetting you in the first place and led to last night’s gross error in judgement, Sweets?” Not getting an answer, Rowan further asked, “Darby, have you changed your mind about getting married?”

Darby’s eyes widened in surprise; this was the last thing he expected to be asked. “NO! I want us to marry. Why would you ask me that?”

“I thought maybe you had changed your mind or you were possibly getting overwhelmed by everything involved in a big ceremony.”

“No, it’s not that, Row.” Shaking his head, Darby quietly assured his partner. “I’m not sure how to explain my feelings, but I’ll try.”

“”Do you remember when things first started to trouble you, love?”

“Sort of; I was beginning to feel I didn’t have too much to offer and that I wasn’t participating enough. I mean, you have so many family members and friends helping out. I just felt I wasn’t pulling my weight and that you’re having to take care of most of it.” Darby struggled to get his thoughts in order. “You’re even paying for everything.”

“Darby, my love, who has taken on the responsibility of arranging the music for the reception?”

“I have,” Darby answered in a small voice.

“Who designed and printed out all the invitations?”

“I did,” the young man answered in even a smaller voice.

“And who chose the destination for our honeymoon?” Rowan asked with a smile.

“Me. I guess I have done a few things,” Darby admitted with a shy grin before mentioning once again, “but you’re still paying for everything.”

“Not all partners contribute financially to their relationship and we’ve discussed this several times in the past, haven’t we?” Getting a nod in agreement, Rowan continued looking for answers. “What is really troubling you, Sweets?”

Darby gently pulled at the gold chains around their necks. He gazed down at the matching rings in his hand. “I don’t want to put a ring on your finger that I haven’t paid for!” the young man murmured. ‘There,’ Darby thought. ‘It’s out! I said it!’

Rowan gazed into his lover’s expressive eyes, picking up the signs of sadness, uncertainty, and something else; the hope for understanding? It slowly dawned on him just how insensitive he had been. “You’re absolutely correct, love, and I apologize for not having realized that. I can only hope your desired for a place of solace enabled you to came up with a way to rectify my thoughtless blunder?” Rowan was relieved to be so close to resolving the issues that had been distressing his partner.

“Yeah, I did figure things out and I do have a plan for handling this, but it concerns my credit card.” Darby waited to see how this suggestion would go over.

“I take it you’re referring to that piece of plastic sitting in my desk drawer?” Rowan inquired, raising an eyebrow and looking at the young man in his arms.

“Huh-huh.” Darby squirmed uncomfortably. “I don’t want to use the card though. In fact, I don’t care if it gets cut up and thrown away.” Darby took a deep breath and plunged ahead. “I just figured if I dropped the payments by forty or fifty dollars a month, I could use that money to make payments on the ring.” Again he anxiously waited for Rowan’s reaction to his proposal.

“You haven’t missed a payment in the six months since we decided how to go about eradicating the debt you entailed nor, with the exception of your first payment, have you been late. You’ve proven how responsible you can be and I’m very proud of you, love. I think we can put your plan in motion.” Rowan almost choked over his laughter as Darby’s arms tightened around his neck, threatening to cut off his air supply.

“Thanks, Rowan. I love you so much!” Darby whispered and softly kissed the other man.

“I love you too, sweetheart!” Rowan demonstrated his feelings by deepening the kiss and gently parting his lover’s lips to gain access to the sweet recesses of Darby’s mouth. Tongues dueled as hearts soared and two lovers reveled in their love for one another. The kiss ended as both men came up for air and relaxed in each other’s arms.

“I wish there was someway I could show you how much I love you and prove how thankful I am for all you have given me, Rowan,” Darby whispered his heartfelt wish.

“What makes you think you haven’t already done so, love?”

“You’ve given me so much….your unwavering love; your acceptance of who I am and how I behave; you’ve provide me with a home; the security and support I need to accomplish my goals; the encouragement to become the best that I can be…..just everything! You are the one I look to for comfort and protection. I rely on you to always be there for me. I’ve never had anything to give you except my love and my assurance that I trust you with my life,” Darby sighed and murmured, “And sometimes it seems I am forever getting myself in one mess after another.”

“I once read the capacity for getting into trouble and the ability for getting out of it, are seldom combined in the same person. That is why we have set strong boundaries we can both live by, to keep you from spinning out of control. Someone said discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments. I know you trust me to maintain these boundaries and to assume the responsibility for making the final decisions in our home. There is nothing more important to me than you and our relationship, baby, and nothing I wouldn’t do to keep you safe and our partnership growing stronger. You believe that, don’t you?”

“Yes, Rowan, ‘cause it’s how I feel as well.”

Rowan and Darby lay side by side on the sofa, each mulling over their own thoughts. Darby was still unsure of his ability to be an equal partner. Rowan was trying to come up with the words to convince the younger man of his importance.

“It is not me you doubt, little one; it is yourself. You seem to have difficulty in acknowledging and accepting your own self-worth. You really have no idea of all you so lovingly and unselfishly give to me, do you?” Rowan asked, his voice filled with tenderness as he made a request. “Please listen to me, my love. It hasn’t been all that long since I fulfilled most of my goals. I’d completed my education, established my career, and acquired a house of my own. But something used to be missing. As I settled into my daily routine, I became aware of a large void in my life. I knew what was missing; I just didn’t know where or how to find it. Then one day, a beautiful, gentle, talented, young man came along. A young man who gave me a purpose for living, who made my house a home, who filled my world with his music and his shy, soft laughter, and who slowly managed to creep into my heart. Darby, you mean more to me than I ever would have thought possible. Your trust is what makes me strong when I am weak. Your love is what helps me be the person I was meant to be, and when I look into your eyes, I find reason to believe in the future…our future. Are you beginning to see how precious you are to me; how much I love, admire and respect you; how much I want and need you?”

I think so,” Darby answered hesitantly and Rowan heard the lingering lack of confidence in his partner’s voice.

“You know, Darby, we’ve had to deal with this issue of your difficulty in talking about things that are upsetting you too often to let it go unaddressed any longer. So, over the next couple of weeks, we are taking advantage of your grounding to deal with the problem. We are going to spend time every evening talking about the events of our day. However, we are not only going to be discussing what happened, we are also going to go into great detail over how we felt about things. What do you think of the idea?”

After giving it some thought, Darby agreed with a cheerful nod and said, “But I’ll need help and it will probably take me a bit of time to get the hang of it.”

“You don’t have to do it alone, Sweets.”

“I know with you in charge, we can conquer anything we put our minds to, right?” Darby proclaimed, his face lighting up. “You rule, man!”

Seeing the love and adoration shining in his lover’s eyes, Rowan emotionally declared, “Yes, but it is only because you allow it, my Prince, that I am able to be the King in our castle.”

The End